drowning...

Work have been crap this past few weeks. It feels like i dread going to work daily because of the mounting pressure i feel after noon. Each day i race to finish my BAU and its not the same repetitive kind of symptom that presisted in the stupid work that i do. There is 1001 ways in finding the variables on how come it existed and i have somehow seems like exhausted my little brain. How can i think out of the box when i have no more idea on how to think out of the little bloody black box. Sigh, maybe its the preconceived idea that i had before i started doing that work because everyone have been harping its damn tough. bla bla bla... i'm influenced, i'm not doing things positively. The cream of the topping comes in the form of doing a six sigma project on this BAU. Oh FRACK me!

Ameba have booked tickets to KK. Come June, i will climb to the highest molehill :). A not so good thing to add was when i was in mamak with cK, and a passing remarks screwed up my holiday plans. "Oooo..that train looks familiar...its the train you have to take for white water rafting!" The bloody train which normally ferries passangers to the white water rafting place fell into the river. Looks like i have a high chance of not going for white water rafting after all. I doubt they can fix the railroad in 2 months. Take the boat u say? i have no idea how are they planning to continue this road trip. I pray there would be no rainfall to make the trail slippery. That is so not a time to have slippery trail.

I am trying to loose weight. But i have damn alot of cravings and its those unhealthy food. Fast food, buffet, fried chicken, briyani with mutton curry and the little mind in me will scream if i stuff myself silly with whatever i thought of that would be a scrumptious delight. My metabolism rate is not as it was in high school and college life. I am trying to increase my metabolism rate. It is still at a crawling pace. I had japanese buffet last weekend, and it ended up being a diarrhoea trip to the toilet frequently. What a good way to loose weight. Just after a buffet spread, i frequent the toilet like i was having a buffet. Yes, i sound sick for wanting to be sick. Why cant everyone be stick thin and still have all the necessary assets to make a woman curvy and all that shit. Its a damn fucked up controversial world. At time people say i look better the way i am now, but my chums will say i am fat and i should do something about it. I am not a freaking stick insect now am I? I'm too vain to grow fat? you're too vain to date a fat chick? Muahah...on the downside you need to put on alot more weight if you want to appear in that teenybooper's magazine.

Self centered, self absorbed, selfish. Not much difference between those three words. Human's are generally selfish creatures right? we want something that we can't have, we are not happy with what we currently have and when you somehow got a hold of it, alot of people might criticise its a wrong wrong move. Now, what happen when both parties are selfish? When both cannot have what they wanted and yet they hold onto to it? does that makes it still wrong? I thought it takes two to tango. Two to make a mistake, but of course it would be better if it all started later. Later when we are bit more matured, later when its not called self centered anymore. Later when we are two individual human beings and not tied down to some commitment. Just a little patience, it wont be much longer when she have to let it go. We should go have breakfast this coming saturday morning at this dimsum place and bitch about everything under the sun. We deserve this, as we work our ass off damn hard 5 days a week.

Right, got to go. Work just came in. Toodles!