Recently..

Its been some time since i blog. I suppose, due to the unavailability of the computer or mainly broadband to another computer that causes this hiatus. My dad, bro and sis is hogging the computer due to the fact that all of them are bumming at home with nothing much to do except to go online and waste their time there. I even have to reason with them if i needed to use the internet for my assignment purposes. I just think its so unfair as my younger sibblings are just going online to play that blasted maple story. Their addiction is getting out of hand. At level 68 with a bloody panda called Hans..its just getting longer for them to level up hence the unlimited amount of time they sit in front of the computer.

Assignments aint getting any better.. I seriously think life at college isn't that all great. But then again, the lazy me would bitch about the daily routine at work..tutorial question also pose a challenge to me.. why cant life be abit more simple?

This relationship and my previous relationship has alot of difference. We spend time doing alot of our own stuff as each one of us is pretty busy with their assignments and exams. Walking in the shopping mall seems like a luxury one cannot afford due to time constraints. We hardly talk on the phone.. we sms alot i suppose and the fact that he's just a 10min drive away makes us lax in that area. Or maybe i think that... phone conversation was just something childish to waste one's time and funds on? Anyway too much phone conversation everyday also makes the other person bored and find excuses not to talk.. I had first hand experience on that.

Anyway fuzzy is blur.. he dont get hints... sometimes he does, and the time is when i tell him wat exactly i want from him. He even gave me an analogy on how should he should be told. "I should be more assertive and don't wait for him to do it. I should just twist his ears and tell him thats what i want". wow.....

On the other hand, mom still calls him a "Friend" yes, their denial is still on. I suppose it will still be around untill he became a christian.. I know uncle, you just hate to hear that huh.. sorry lah..
Anyway, no one said you didnt do your assignment la.. Just tell you that you should utilize your time. haahha....

p.s. Mr Lee, no night classes still can ponteng church huh..

assignments

I just finish an assignment. One down, another four more to go... its like a never ending viscious cycle. Anyhow, after assignments, it will be time for another round of exams... damn, i hate this part of being a college student. I spend the whole mid sem break in college doing that bloody assignment. I need a REAL break.. not a break to complete assignments...

I cant accept job offers because i have datelines to meet and its all cramped up in 2 weeks. Not two weeks time of course, at the begining of may, which is soon anyway.. ah...crap.. i dont even have time to go and have a hair cut. Probably i will cut it short n change my image? we'll see about that..

to my uncle, all the best with ur site.. do your assignments la...time is better spent that way.

misc..

My mid semester break i spend it doing my assignment. Its a twisted one because its tough. Its a challenge to every group because everyone's figure wont be the same. Its even more twisted when my group consists of only 3 members. I supppose thats due to my brilliant idea, all of us have more work to do...but then again, we won't be on the loosing end..much to learn from this assignment.

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Ever thought of what good moments you've experienced in your life? was it a holiday or was it just a good time with someone you love. Was it more like a convenient cause or because its meant to be? a friend of mine says "good thing doesn't last" , is that why after 20 over years of marriage, my parents don't hold each other's hands? is it because after 20 years of marriage... they argue and bicker on a weekly basis? because good thing doesnt last..or was it because love just fades into nothingness.

When a relationship turns bad, what does one do? When life fucks you up and gives you lemon what will you do? How do one overcome this hurt? limp around for a few months and then hope you'll recover or go on a self destructive mission which involves whatever the mind of yours can think off. I heard a good remedy... try to hate that someone.. hate that person with whatever you can muster off... the more you could muster that hatred, the better off you'll be.

Don't you just want to cry when things don't work our way. Dont work how we plan it to be. When one though that was the great big plan in life and then the "good thing doesnt last" comes into the picture... it somehow shows that in the end, what you've tried so hard to sustain will not work when one's too self absorb.

Trust me, I've been through the whole phase. Been there and done that. I've tried to hate a person, I succeeded but then again when you found the one you thought you love... its a difficult thing to do. No matter what, one would have a soft spot for them. If you manage to convince yourself that you hate that person so bloody much...congratulations.. one down, few more to go.

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Its weird to read what your boyfriend have to say about a crush or his hurt a few years back. Its weird that he can feel so much for that other person the same thing he's feeling for you now. It doesnt feel good that another person made him felt so much. it didnt exactly etched a smile on me to read that he felt all warm and fuzzy after that nice date. He has so much past that it pales in comparison to what you or me even experiences before. Past that I left burried underneath untill I decided to dig it up and look at the compose. It felt as though the compose is not decomposing anyhow... its more like a plastic bag, compared to an organic stuff. A plastic bag that never fades into nothingness.

"there's something a bout beary that I can't quite understand my attractions to. One look at her, I melt a bit here and there, for no particular reasons...maybe her smile...maybe not...but I don't really care...as long as this electric still exist, I'm happy to go along with it. bless her small little smile.." .... ahh.. fuck it

Yes ur ex-s are just your ex-s.. just like what nat was to you when you felt all comfortable with her.. just like how i am another person to you.. haha...humour me... Just like wat my friend say "good things doesn't last" IS IT? Does it not last because you fucking bail out?

ahh.... 3.22am and I'm having an emotional rant online.

hiatus

hey guys...

its been somewhat a long time since...i actually came online to chat. I know,my schedule just didnt permit leisure time. I was having exams and this coming week it will be my mid semester break. But as one would learn, sem break is somewhat for catcthing up with college assignments and more college assignments so somehow i will still have to travel down to subang for college assignments group meet up. yes, life is somehow...screwed this way.

anyway, somehow im itching for a holiday. But then again, holiday while staying at home and a mom who nags all day... i rather go to college or something. yes, she's aso having a sem break next week... there goes my shopping escapade with my friends or rather lepaking activities.

I dyed my hair to a shade of copper... I'm not sure wat colour it would turn out but then again, I think I look like a fat lala. I cant believe when that Urban spaceman said he charged his friends for computer errands because he's rearing a pig. he sang "lembu oh lembu mengapa engkau gemuk...macam mana tak gemuk...selalu makan ais krim" ...yes...what an invitation to bite him !!

He's going to fraser's hill this saturday with his friends. And for some reason like cuz my "best fren" is going, and it will be a one night up there, I can't make it. I doubt my mom will allow anyway. Yes, being 23 and my freedom is still clutched under their palms... I hate that. How I wish I'm staying out now. Getting nagged at for small reason just make me wanna slam the door. And of course if i do that, theyll say im rebellious. yes, screwed.... cuz of the stupid asian mentality.

I'm getting bored.. I suppose I will meet up with my old time friends... but then again, i gotta prepare for discussion on monday... AARRRRGGGHHHH... fuck life..fuck this boring boring screwed up life. I'm just getting bored of studying... i'm getting bored of how my parents nag... its after my exams...loosen up on me can anot? (no, cannot, its for our own good lah... bla bla bla <--- screw that you know..screw that)

Yes, i know im suppose to honour them... but with so much bitterness in my heart... its somewhat a reluctant thing. Some how, I suppose...this phase will pass...nevermind... blame it on my PMS.