underpaid job

i got a job. called the agency today and got one right after 2 hours. its underpaid i suppose compared to the roadshow im suppose to work. but its still alright. its an office job. getting paid on a daily basis. though my salary only comes at the end of the month. 5 days a week, that leaves the weekend free in case i get those roadshow jobs,which i doubt i will be free due to the fact that they would prefer the person to come in on fri till sunday.

but hey, maybe i could just not go to the office on fri and work for rm120 per day instead of a measely rm45. i know, im getting paid peanuts. one of the lowest salary paid im getting in my temporary job life. and i laugh at fuzzy when he gets paid rm75 per day. tsk tsk...

scatter thoughts

I'm starting to understand you more though sometimes I feel like I don't understand the way you think and feel. We all have ups and downs. Sometimes people misunderstand, sometimes I misunderstand you, sometimes I say things I don't mean to myself, you and other people. And yes, we both say hurtful things that hurts each other.

Lately, we've had a misunderstanding. Sorry for all the heart ache i cause u. We'll get through them, like u say its nothing and a trival issue. We had worked things out and we should try to protect each other. There's no such thing as a good guy and a bad guy; we're all good and bad. Sometimes though, I tend to make you look like the bad guy but I don't believe that at all. At times u make me look like the bad one instead. but of course, we/I was just mad. I don't mean to make you look like the bad guy to myself and to others; especially to yourself.

When we're traveling through a certain journey, we remember whatever we're seeing at that moment. After the journey is done, do we tend to forget everything we saw? Maybe we never forget, we just leave it buried deep in our hearts, minds and souls.

Worries tend to be like a blanket. I have no idea why but I cover myself with this blanket of mine. Sometimes, it makes me comfortable to worry - to predict problems and to worry about them even before shit happens - it feels safe somehow. Until it gets too overwhelming and I throw the blanket off myself because it's too hot, too bothering. And then I strip and just soak in cold water; waiting for the numbness to engulf me - right from my flesh to my bones. And I wonder if that is when I will find peace.

when u told ur bf that ur not sure how u felt having me as ur best fren again, i took that to heart. after all, i do treasure our friendship. although u were civil towards me, i can feel the lack of warmth in our conversation. we were there because of another mutual friend. everthing was so fake. the conversation was fake, the laughter seems fake, being civil towards each other was fake. and pretending that the conversation was interesting was the dumbest part. why do we need to put on a facade and fake it? i guess no one wants a confrontation.

late entry for prom pictures

those ppl who sat at table no 1. mainly circle k members :) . prom king plus the best dressed male was at this table

yes, this pic is boring now isnt it. anyway i look fairer than him here compared to reality. and yes, i look fat...stupid clothes

sye yi, yee mun and the prom king michael. yes, i look fat and short and have mata sepet totally

sye yi, yee mun and hans. anyway hans is a student councillor working for taylors.

dr lim, and the girls... looks more like the pimp or some hamsap fellar

i so wanted to adjust hans tie, which i did after this photo was taken

me and my friends again

anyway, someone threatened me that i shall make an appearance at his prom due to unforseen circumstances. now, we shall see whether that will happen or not

harry porter

i watched harry porter and the goblet of fire already...on this bloody comp im typing this blog from. i guess, reading the book was much more fun..though im only currently in the first porter book. according to my brother, alot of part they missed..alot of action part i suppose... like the dragon tournament and all that. anyway, am waiting for narnia... cant seems to find that chronicles of narnia book series in the library.but of course, i guess chronicles of narnia plot would be better than porter cuz more realistic in the fantasy kinda way.

ahhh...crap. they cancelled the job i had in One-U. the lady tried calling me but then i didnt hear the phone ring. i sms another lady from the office, and she say..."i think its cancelled" ahh...need to find another job i guess... :(

was at mamak just now with my friends. arun and etc. my best fren didnt appear though i sms her. she's still mad mad mad at me...yes, she more then mad i suppose. and im not sure how am i suppose to make it up to her. break up i suppose cuz she blame me having a bf and me neglecting her. sigh......... wats the world been up too. as Soe say, woman are all so uptight and takes things personally.. of cuz lah..or not , we're not woman okie. we got no pms and wouldnt make u guys life a living hell in some ways (try asking my ex, im sure he knows how i use to make his life a living nitemare). anyway conclusion, she still freaking mad at me. and she's getting married. aih...we're so gonna be distant after that :(

anyway, its arun's b'day today...we were all at mamak. nothing much. i guess celebration only starts on saturday ... from lunch onwards to cheap happy hours right after.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARUN !!!

p.s : i need a job, anybody recommend me a job pllz... GOD plz help me :( . anyway my fren told me to just bum around and do nothing as i got one more sem left till i grad, now is the right time to bum about.

anyway, my english language proficiency sucks big time. look at the language on this blog...i literaly kill it ...

- insert title -

when ur mood is affected by the mere fact that the other person over there feels fucked up, it fucks up ur mood too.

the mere fact that when u feel fucked and you vent your frustrations and start to pick out the other person's fault when its not him or her fault for causing you to be in this kinda situation... makes it the most fucked up thing one can endure.

anyway i shall not let it bother me, cuz im FARKING NOT BOTHRED !!!

okie, lets move on to better topics now shall we... i did popcorns the other day. the same kind of popcorns that the cinema is selling... yes, smells like heavenly caramel but of course, good titbits takes me an hour to pop that bloody pop corns..cuz my mom dun have the pop corn pot. we use the microwave instead. so its bloody tedious and long winded kinda procedure. but of course, it taste good. and then we have to bake it with the caramel and all inda stuff. one bar of butter can u believe it? yes, damn fattening.

im enjoying the holidays. the nothing to do mode is just setting into my senses. although im exepcted to get into the Maria mode sooner or later n help around house wth household chores !! yes ppl, im not so blessed like some other ppl who have maid around the house. my parents maid is ...your's truly...ME

my fren offer a job to be his personal assistant. but i guess i gotta turn down his offer. his office is too far plus rm1000 i can compensate it with a nearby job that pays equally the same amount.

my bro is currently downloading harry porter. my bf thinks harry porter the movie is a lame ass movie. anyway he got weird taste in movies. somehow at times i like his taste in movies...not the same like majority, but its a movie you could think back and truly say its a good one. one good example is "memento"...its not a spelling mistake okie...its spelt that way. look up onto it... its something worth watching. thought provoking especially how the director film that movie.

aye, ppl i need to go to bed. have a wonderful day ahead. and to johnny boy, sorry for this late mention but happy b'day to you.im glad i know u better this year!!

exams are over... woo hoo....

MY EXAMS ARE OVER

... im so happy... hahahah... no more stress, no more studing till february and now, i can just do nothing while lying down on my bed and not feel like its a waste of my time though technically i know its still a waste of time.

apologies to you for the misconception of block unblock situation. i didnt know u read my blog.

if u wanna dump ur world religion assignment on me to do it while ur watching a bloody football match on tv....sorry you idiot, im not doing it for me...and u shall not take me for granted that way. its ur bloody assignment, u slock over it cuz i have done equally for every assignment i took.... anyway watever lah...my mood not good....wrong timing !!!

im going out tomoro for lunch with Jan, so u owe me big time buddy cuz i dun ffk u... like how i plan i would :P

i missed corpse bride,chicken little and im so gonna miss harry porter... nvm, gonna watch it when my bro starts downloading it.

watching nip/tuck season one... and then shall proceed to season two...

will start working next tuesday till sunday.. and yes thank god i have some money for this holiday cuz im dead broke due to the fact that im not getting any pocket money this holiday.

im sorry guys i didnt have time to mamak. apologies to arun whom... upon returning from UK untill now, i havent even sit and have a decent conversation with him. i cant help it buddy, i have exams and all... will make it up...

pathetic the one and only

the fact that i block him(cuz he ask me to) while i can still see him online was a reassurance he's still around. the point now that he himself block me, at the same time...makes my heart ache. im so bloody pathetic .. its my ex bf for goodness sake and im still feeling like i owe him so much.

rants...

i was sick for a few days. sore throat and body ache with fever and runny nose. yes it sucks. kinda put my studies on hold. didnt feel like doin anything else except sleeping. im currently up and running. hopefully, my grey cells are fine and dandy, i'll have good memory but at the current moment... i need the bloody adrenaline rush. irritating...when one has no motivation to study.

all my papers falls on the second week of exam. that sucks big time. mon and tue...follow closely by another two papers on thurs and friday. either i'll survive or either i'll just go to exam hall blank. ahh.... sucks, sucks...big time. its all cuz of those who complain and now, im the one who got the worst shit ever. life isnt fair... taylors sucks in exam time table. this is the second sem it sucks big time.

ah, crap...i got a headache now. and BD isnt replying to my msg. must be asleep. and im suppose to get up for revision with skeleporn tomoro at 8.30am latest. great... life is so great

sweet nothings

"then i sentence you to love me forever without parole. sentence will begin immediately. resistance is futile."


"they called up single females on stage to catch the bridal bouquet.nasib you not here.
oh, now dowan to marry me lah?
keke...can we have childrens but not married? i'll only marry you when im 30
nah, i'll be married by 28 to someone else then
NO. you are so marrying me at 29, end of story
idiot you!!! "


"this question is worth 5% of your total assessment. you're given 5 minutes to answer it, good luck
1) what is the name of isiot?
uh...5% i can forgone. the name of the isiot is Jimmy Tan Jook Voon
wrong la doe, the name of isiot is XXX. im idiot according to you remember? nevermind, give you 2 marks for answering on time
*snickers... 2 marks only lah, nevermind i shall cut 20 marks off your assessment*


"you are my life doe. your my happy silly life and i wouldnt trade it for anything in the world. im yours and you're mine, forever, forever ever, forever ever."


"doe...
huh?
nothing...."
*pinch him hard hard and leaves behind a bruise mark*


p.s: a man, forgives a womans lies

i miss my deer...

hmm, its been like 5days since i last saw my deer. i missed him actually. plus i got over the missing my ex already. i guess thats just a short phrase of 2 hour... hahaha..

how desperate when someone goes to great length to asking me to two time my bf. sigh... anyway i cant n dont two time because i hate that if my bf does that to me. i dont conform to that and i dont for the sake of me....two time.

anyway back to missing my deer...since i got exams, i told myself i will stay home to study. and im doing a darn good job avoiding mamak sessions with friends and all those. bf isnt exempted in the process either.. now look wat i have done... i miss him already :(

a total complete cut off

i got an sms from my ex bf. he say it feels lonely sitting on the bench we sat last year at fraser hill. yup, as his family owns an apartment up there, i got the luxury of spending my CNY holidays thr. it was fond memories we had. my ex has decided to just do a simple but yet complete cutoff from me from now on. it struck me at first. i know thats the only way for him to heal. for him to forget about me completely, but my heart aches for his final demise from my life.

i know it sounds crazy but i cant help but be sad about it. to know that even a simple friendship wont happen between us because of this. i always thought we're the coolest couple in church who can talk face to face even after breaking up. but i guess now that wont happen. there wouldnt even be a friendship and my heart just aches.feels like i lost something.

as my friend KW simply put it "you still love him". i guess i did subconsciously. somehow i did all this while. i guess while i got my revenge, while im happy seeing him being sad this once and me dating someone new and finding new love, im sad for the very fact that he plans to erase me out of his system already. no more future, no more together and no more me n him(my ex).

KW told me to choose, somehow i already did. im not one that walks out and leaves when im in a relationship. i'll try to make this new one work out till the very end like how i did for my previous relationship. so i guess there is no turning back at this current moment. since i took the plunge, im in this for real and through. untill this new one ends...i've gotta learn to let things go and leave wat WAS behind.im alrady doubting whether i love my current bf. im sure its in me somewhere...i guess its no wonder when biggus dickus say i have reservations for him.

ironically, i could still feel the trace of sadness.it feels as though we just broke up all over. the best part? instantly my hunger pangs dissipated. to biggus dickus, im sorry deer i felt this kinda sadness washed over me. you'll make me happy, i know cuz im sure u will.

p.s : i know lah, im emotionally farked up. im missing those people at zouk now partying. at least i know i wont be thinking about it when im there.

aih...

sat nite came and go as usual. was suppose to stay home to study, but instead ck n S called for mamak. decided to kill 2 birds with one stone, i ask my Jim to come along. since jim comes to mamak after work, he was abit late. S was contemplating goin clubbing and as we sat, my best fren (Z) called ck's phone to check out wat we are up to that nite. ck informed her, if she's up to mamak she can come along.

anyway, S decided to go clubbing and i called up Jim to dressed up appropriate. i needed to go home for a change of cloths anyway and then Ck called up Z and inform her that we wont be at mamak as we're heading down kl. she asked him whether Jim is coming along anot and he answered yes. she told us to go ahead and then 5 min later i got a disturbing sms.

"Having fun with ur FRIENSDS? like i've said before whenever you got yourself a bf, friends are alwiz forgotten. wellyou've just lost one fo them. but what do you care? you've got so many other friends. if your got any problems, always remember to go find your friends and not me."

as i read that. i cant help but feel dumbstruck. for someone who didnt ask me personally whether im at mamak or call me instead of ck while she deemed me as her best fren. going to length that since i got a bf, judging me that way. its not my fault that she hate jim, its not my fault that she cant see eye to eye with him, its not my fault that she didnt call me so that i could extend tat bloody clubbing invitation.

as she blame me for deserting her, she wasnt even around when she started dating her current beau. the only time she came back to us was when she broke up with him. when she got back with him she only comes out to mamak with us when he's not around either busy playing dota or clubbing at rush. mamak lately would also include him joining us. so, wats the farking big deal? because you hated jim so much, ck didnt extend the invitation. as jim is driving, she will have to put up with unnecessary torment.

as much as i wanted to explain the whole thing to her. i cant find words to explain the whole situation. as much as i wanted to reply her, S n ck told me i dun have to explain anything. it spoilt my mood for clubbing actually. im bothered that our relationship turned out this way. im bothered cuz i still cherish our friendship. i cant understand why she cant just tell me she'll be supportive of whatever decision i've made , to be there when things go wrong. in fact she blame me for deserting her that saturday when she didnt even call me to ask me where i was.

ah, life is abit farked up it seems