hyatt saujana at an ungodly hour

since its my day off, when a job opportunity comes knocking i snapped it up fast. pay is good i suppose but i needed the money more. who dont need money eh? selling sunplay again but this time its at some golf tournament. fyi, sunplay isnt some lubricant okie... its a sunblock though it sounds so like a lubricant.

with not enough sleep, i was supposed to be there by 7am. dad send me to work albeit 2 offers from friends to send me to work at the ungodly hour. started off early passing out free samples for the golfers to use. a few asked me how come this time it didnt come with a demonstration of applying the sunblock on. those pervert old uncles wanted a free "rub" on their arm as they call it.

work was only an hour in the morning from 7am till 8am. when the golfers are in the green, we're free to do wat we wanted. i brought my book for assignment sake but ended up gossiping as i met an old fren of mine at the golf course as she's incharge of the PWC tournament on the other course.

work then started back at 12pm-3pm, this time sunplay had a booth with games of dart. throw and hit the picture they will have free gift. some uncle gladly suggested, that if he throw and hit the picture he's entitle to date one of us. hahaha...pretty amusing to see the old dears behaving this way. got myself a free hagen dazz wafer coated ice cream.nice treat.

V picked me up from hyatt on his way back from college. so sweet of him.yes, 4 hours of work and i pocketed rm120 :)

a love letter shd do the trick

assignments are piling up. alot of datelines to meet but yet im taking things too easy. no mood what so ever. but at the same time, whn all ur team mates are in the mood swings due to assignment dateline ... tension in the air is highly charged, i should cut some slack unto them. oh whatever, i got my prom tickets today ..yay !!!

had a date or whatever my fren X calles it. to me, it was a yamchar session at coffee bean to catch up on the 4 years of lost contact. i havent really take X as someone worth my time all this while. he flirts with almost every girl around him. mayb thats how he talks. thats just the way he is. but after 4 years, he has somewhat mature and now he knows that girls aint just a plaything anymore. wow...sounds so much like tht guy im dating :P ....i know it doesnt sound encouraging.

the whole conversation was centered upon him as i was way too beat to talk about myself except for that little that i talk about. i can see he missed his ex gf. for wat she brought to his life...actually im glad at least he had found her and not all was lost cuz he's now a more homely kinda guy. im just so sorry that i was too tired and he claims all he need was to push my "off" button and i would go to bed. yeah i looked like a zombie. he cut the date short of dinner, and send me home early.

i ended up meeting V, the guy im dating later that night. surprisingly, i actually had the energy left to watch "love actually" on dvd. a romantic and sappy love story, just wat i need. anyway on my way home i realised that i actualy got a love letter in my wallet. so sweet right?... hahah...not exactly cuz he owe's me this one. but it makes me feel good at the end of the day though. :)

ignored or im just sensitive?

mamak on a monday nite was somewhat unexpected. i decided to go n make peace with her. somewat i gotta say sorry or something. ended up talking to cch about the whole issue on the phone first. things got so complicated. my best friends seriously hates him.. and cch say that wat i wanna do he'll be there to hold me back up again although he dont approve of this guy. sigh... judged and crucified like that... ppl tend to judge and comdemn first and talk about it later. humans are somewhat judgemental creatures..

somewhat the whole conversation was centered in hokkien and for someone who barely speaks that language and only knows how to listen and add abit here and thr, the whole outing sucks while i was looking forward to going home. she didnt even look at me, watever that comes out of her mouth in hokkien somewat is crude and rude with obscenities.

whatever lah..im tired of all this already. im tired of justfying my actions ...im tired of all this crap.

lies i told n regret

i was watching football on a saturday night. since football match isnt done, i told my best fren that i would go to mamak myself as im at my "uncle house". presumably she read that msg and she would go to mamak first with the rest of them, i was actually on a date with him. sigh..i know i lied to her so that i could protect her on her being mad and angry at me. but planned backfired. she didnt read the msg, my parents who was suppose to be out by that time was still at home and she call me to screw me over the phone saying she's dissapointed. sigh... wat a bad bad day.

instantly i decided to do damage control, i called her back and told her lets go to mamak, im done with my date. she go on about "no no, its okie.. not a problem. im also planning to do assignment"...i decided to call the whole gang and arrange for mamak eventually and told cch about the whole thing. he lepak on the phone with her... the whole issue was eventually revealed to him...my gosh...its getting bigger n bigger by the minute..

at the end of the day,she was on the phone longer with cch and then decided not to go out to mamak. i told him to come to mamak n watch football with my friends as it seems like she aint coming out anymore. sigh... the best part was whn i pass her the financial statement in the middle of the nite after foobtball and she was like..."he went to mamak too?"

sigh...at 2am, she called me to discuss about her audit assignment. as i had taken this subject last semester, we discussed about it as though we are not in the disapointment situation or angry state of mind. feels weird somehow.

deception of the eye

the whole mamak outing was like a rotten apple coated in sugar caramel. looks good on the outside not on the inside. in me...the whole washing machine motion was going on. uneasiness in my heart. wats there to deny? whats there to talk? she know almost everything... just that she wants me to follow her way of doing things. before i reach mamak, i sms her to say i was ready. and i go on saying that watever it is, we shall not argue over that matter n talk things in a civilised manner.

the whole journey to mamak and conversation between her n me in mamak was on the normal daily basis question.no mention of tht guy and the most surprising thing was that guy was there along. i just dun know how to react... just acted normal..nothing eventful...was kinda glad it didnt end in a bad manner that will affect our friendship.

a good enjoyable mamak outing... but its just that she didnt like me dating him. somehow she's thinking for my own good and benefit...i know that.

life as a drama queen

just as i though that my life wasnt as interesting as it should be. turn of events will turn it into something dramatic. feels as though my life as a drama queen has not ended. somehow, it wil turn more interesting for all all those who knows me.

i somehow dated someone. casual dates...nothing extra... but somehow my best fren who's pissed at me (cuz i told a certain someone she's getting married) found out. she's even more pissed as she dont approve of the guy im dating. why? cuz of his past. of wat he had done before all this time. somehow its that bad that my fren dont approve of it. sigh..... its just a date... its just a get to know each other... and then she's fuming mad whn i didnt wanna reply her sms when she go on and on about how come he's not the kinda guy for me.

past haunts.. i know she meant it for my own good. i know she dont want me hurt ever again after my breakup with my ex and somehow im a repeat offender whn it comes to love. somehow i deemed myself as someone not successful whn it comes to relationship wise issues and of course i go to my friends for advice. at times... whn i go to them i expect a certain answer from them. more of like a support rather than open opposition. sometimes i dunno wat i should do. and at this times...i rather go to those who will support me rather than those who will shoot me down.

whn she call, i quiver...thats how scared i am of my best friend. she instill a certain sense of fear in me that could overide the fear i have for my parents. can u believe that? i treat her as my best friend and sister somehow and i fear her instead. sigh... i think im rather the follower at times rather than the leader. domination in the animal kingdom to me comes whn i have to take action rather. all she did tonight was called me while i was on my way back from church at 11.30pm and demanded that i should come out mamak tonight itself. my self explanatory reason on its already 11.30 met with an eager verbal ascending tone of telling me that since im so used to sneaking out of the house in the middle of the nite...it wouldnt pose a problem to me. she go on saying that... we will all be waiting. wow...who's the "we" i wonder... am i gettin a public humiliation in front of all my friends just cuz i choose to date a guy who she dont approve off?

goodness, i felt like i added salt unto her already cut and open wound. she's already pissed and dissapointed at me cuz i told my fren about her getting married and now it comes to the issue of her being pissed and dissapointed on my choice of date. life of a drama queen never gets any better than this. i thrive in action ... NOT

the green eye monster

does dating someone constitute the act of letting the green eye monster take control of you somehow? i know it sound so weird. especially when its just a casual date and no commitment are involved.

my best friend sms me to say she's dissapointed in me for choosing that kinda person im interested in dating. she even called me back whn i didnt reply her sms demanding why i didnt reply her...she demanded about wat time my class ends and all that. it wasnt tat bad...as i already made up my mind to kinda like let her know...im getting into this with my eyes wide open.

turn of things happen after class whn i was browsing friendster in the evening after class while waiting for my mom to pick me up. friendster somehow are such vicious website tat make one life's interesting or rather make one day goes screwed. since i pretty much made up my mind on dating him... i somehow stumbled upon flirtatious testimonies to both him and from another girl. sigh... makes it all the way easier to just not continue in dating him now... makes me jealous... the green eye monster whispered into my ears and told me to just drop all of it while im still not hurt.

adding to the fact that he told me he's going out dinner with another girl... it didnt strike my mind that who was tht girl...so i decided to ask him about it. what's her name to be precise. he cant recall her name can u believe it?...mayb called her too often in her pet name like dear or darling.. got me so pissed...i decided i needed to know about his life through and through before i could convince myself he isnt so bad and try convincing my best friend he isnt too bad either. looks like his reputation preceeds him... i decided to ignore him and carry on with my activities and let it not affect me.

got an sms later at nite that he cancelled his dinner plans with her. im not sure whether it made me happy or whether it was a bad thing. what i know was that, if he certainly went on with his dinner plans... i might consider wat my best friend been telling me. he's sure to break my heart one day.

it feels like no matter what...im getting screwed left right and all over...

world's pissed at me

somehow my friends are pissed at me. hormone changes in girls i understand. but wat i dun understand was whn my ex bf ask me a simple question of how many guy's interested in dating me and i didnt wanna answer. damn bodoh... whn its him who ended the relationship and whn i didnt wanna tell who is those guys, he just ignored me. the whole sunday service in church he ignored me. he told me later at nite on msn that his mood was lousy(cibai with a batang--->soe's explanation). hahahha....EJ think i should have lied and give a higher number just to rub in more salt unto his wound. Ej's just evil...but i understand wat he feels whn his ex ended their relationship.

chatting with my indon maid junie (not litterally), brings light into the conversation whn he goes like "i dun give a damn if my ex is dead. if she is...the world's a better place for evyone" ... wat strike him to say that? he say that its better to lick one's wound with hatred than to pin over it. such good way of counter measure the love one had into hatred. okie... the conversation was in cantonese, so forgive me if i misinterprete.

i asked EJ while he was online wats the meaning of mutually exclusive. do take note that Ej calls himself a paramecium and his ex a wild boar..hahahah...

EJ says:
mutually exclusive statements that are initially inclusive.
EJ says:
like love.
EJ says:
love is mutually inclusive
EJ says:
until the wild boar calls the paramecium a satanist.
EJ says:
then it becomes a love hate relationship
EJ says:
i would love to hate her.

she's pissed at me

somehow, my best friend is pissed with me. i cant help but worry about it. she means alot to me. the friendship i meant. sigh.... im worried...i know i betrayed her trust... its her private stuff but i told someone.

she's planing on getting married so she told me. she told me to just keep it to myself. my fault that i told someone else. when she found out about it...she's pissed with me. on msn the first thing she told me was she wanna kill me. she trusted me and i betrayed her like that. i feel farked up. i cant believe my friends told her bf about it... n it got me into the whole lot of trouble.

the whole thing about her getting pissed was that its her big day and she wanna announce it to the world. not for me to let the cat out of the bag early n spoil it. crap wei...i feel like crap.

holiday...Smashing !!

well, a one day trip to pd was something everyone of the 5 of us looked forward to. something to release tension i guess. something to go towards once in a while to just chill and do nothing. nothing here i guess was an understatement whn the guys wanna start the bbq pit fire which took them nearly an hour. ehehhehe... they use all kinda shit...from dead twigs to dead leaves, olive oil and fire starter..still the coal just wont really light up. wtf wei...hahahah. anyway they got it starting after really really fanning the fire for farking 45 minutes.

food was good as we had more then enough chicken wings. straw mushrooms taste awesome although it looks weird. looks like some animal's family jewels. hahahha... according to my friend, its succulent. hahahha...looks like crap, taste good i must add. booze adds up to the atmosphere and smoking helps i guess in some way. hahahha.... stobok thats what they call it. puked into the sea where i fed the fishes with late night snacks of booze and chicken wings. one sure way to layan all this is to layan music with it. hahaha..somehow, bob marley and toploader does the trick. gets u farking high wei. hahahahha. thats what everyone say.

sleep was not exactly deprived...i had enough. not too bad though this trip. with friends who's wacky and fun filled...a boring place like pd seems fun :) . plus both of our friends had adopted a purple dinosaur.

highlights of pd
1- stubok
2- aie adopted a purple dinosaur
3- i went shorter with huge gigantic farking feet
4- catching those sand muthafuckar lala's
5- playing about wit a dead fish washed ashore...the dead fish got a funeral though
6- trying to light up the bbq pit for nearly an hour
7- alot of liars and cheaters while playing bluff

anyway nice trip as it only cost us rm37 per person. hehhehe. picture of pd comes up later :0

walking to klang

wow...both my friends walked down from kelana jaya to subang and then to klang. total time they took was 10 hours. plus all the resting and lunch time. i find that facinating...wow...i only did it once from ss15 to midvalley. i know the satisfaction one can get from it. the sense of achievement and the happiness one gets from reaching the destination. i picked them up upon them reaching klang town as they're not too sure where i stay. anyway, send them back all the way to kelana jaya after they cool down. they're rushing for sushi king rm2 per plate promotion for gold card privillege holder :) cant join them though...got bettter things to do :)

eric on DIET

for those who know eric would also know that eric had lost weight. i was stunned when john told me about it. i pester eric to give me his current picture of him without his shirt. in return, im suppose to give him some discriminating picture of mine. anyway. here are the mugshots of before and after.

eric and azah in jenna's car. i know... i crop the picture

nice ass eric...i also kalah

full pose of uncle who diet or watever he did to loose tht weight off...azah's jealous

past... his past

i had a talk with my good fren. conversation was at its peak when i slowly asked her about a friend of mine. due to the fact that her bf ex gf was dating this so called guy just right after they broke up, unkind words were spoken and i listened. i dunno how come i didnt defend my other friend. mayb im afraid to tell my good friend that i know him pretty well. or mayb im just into gossipping and juicy bits of gossips feeds my soul?

ahh.... wat would one say when ur being labelled gf snatcher? would one regret? well...my friend didnt. to him its better to have chance upon it than not tried it. but to say he's a gf snatcher isnt right. he started dating that girl after they broke up and she was the one that wanted to break up cuz of pure change of heart. sigh.... do i trust this kinda person just cuz of his past that will alwiz be his past...

love and breaking up

"breaking up is such a hard thing...it not only robs you of the person that you love, it takes away all the things that you used to believe and value...it makes you wonder is anything ever real because...obviously the fact that he doesnt love you anymore is VERY real, so what of the past? Were they all just a game of charades?" jess

fuz's top 40 list

since i dont have the time or idea wat would soe want from me, i decided to get fuz to compile a top 40 list for me. below are his choice of music.

1- dobes - black and white city
2- spoon - i turn my camera on
3- dog die in hot car -lounger
4- artic monkeys -fake tales of san francisco
5- dresden dolls - coin-operated boy
6- ryam adams - love is hell
7- jeff buckley - lover, you should come over
8- nina simone -feeling good
9- sigur ros - untitled 3
10- dodgy - good enough
11- mansun - wide open space
12- the shins- gone for good
13- jane monheit - over the rainbow
14- the music - the walls get smaller
15- the thrills - big sur
16- ray charles - you dont know me
17- ben fold five - brick
18- phantom planet -lonely
19- the libertines - cant stand me now
20- the streets -fit but you know it
21- hope of the states -the black amnesia
22- maximo park- graffity
23- musiq soulchild- dont change
24- A.R.E weapon - fuck you, pay me
25- bright eyes - a perfect sonnet
26- modeset mouse -edit the sad parts
27- mew- conforting sounds
28- the waifs - london still
29- whitlams - no aphrodisiac
30- need new body -gamble on
31- the postal service -nothing better
32- eels - i need some sleep
33- badly drawn boy -have you fed the fish
34- ocean colour scene -the day we caught the train
35- default - wasting my time
36- lazlo bane - superman
37- BT - god speed
38- linus loves - stand back
39- juanes - es por ti
40- the pillows -funny bunny

the best part was, soe was asking me..wats up with the list.. all of the songs is below 56bps upon downloading and listenin to some of it. hehehhe...too slow for soe's taste i guess. plus he insisted on my list...crap wei... malasnya...........

weird

my ex bf has been acting weird lately. i guess since both his best mate are dating someone at the moment, he felt left out. looneliness creeps in at wrong times, but i know he isnt ready to date anyone just yet. worst of all, i have that feeling that somehow or another at the end of it, i will still date him or marry him. i dunno how i could feel this way. probably cuz i still see and sit with him in church like 3 times a week. the whole thing seems like a bloody charade to all the aunties and uncles at church. when he dont come for church, they'll ask me where's my boyfriend. bad bad impression im giving...both of us can get oscars for this. the best part is, after church service is over, we both dont talk to each other.

...my happiness lately source from someone else. someone who seems to make my day look better and at the end of the day, i shall look over and smile. this someone unfortunately isnt my ex bf. im partly glad i could move on in life this way. but at the same time i find that i cant commit to this new guy cuz its just too fast ...everything is too fast. plus, i have a crazy paranoia that i will turn into a obsessed freak who cant live without him, controlling and a drama queen.

does a person is judged by his or her past? i dont mind as long as that past isnt repeated. but then at the same time, isnt that what reflects one person? your past? but of course trying to change is something one will achieve over time. yes, im talking in circles... its weird

soe's top 40 list

as i was sitting at mamak the other day, i was asking soe what songs should i download. he wrote me a list of his top 40's that i should listen to and in return, i shall list down my top 40 for him to download. now people, i shall present you his top 40 list although i havent downloaded all of them just yet.

1- padi - mahadewi, kasih tak sampai
2- dewa - pupus
3- tipe x - salam rindu, angan
4- shiela majid - anyer dan jakarta
5- tool -schism
6- guano apes - big in japan
7- babyface - the loneliness
8- slayer - disciple
9- the strokes - 12:51
10- embrace - looking as you are, gravity
11- cake - never there
12- B.R.M.C. - love burns
13- hot hot heat - goodnight goodnight
14- radiohead - no surprises
15- kula shaker - govinda
16- garbage - i will die for you
17- hootie and the blowfish - i will wait
18-thin lizzy - parrisienne walkways
19- gary moore - still gotthe blues
20- dave matthews band - angle, the space between
21- the verve - the drugs dont work
22- rage against the machine - testify
23- foo fighters - walking after you
24- mr big- wild world
25- le tigre - im so excited
26- pink floyd - the great gig in the sky
27- radiohead- street spirit (fade out), nice drea
28- ash - alwyas on my mind
29- mariah carey - breakdown
30- u2- sarajevo girl
31- ac/dc - if you want bloody, back in black
32- massive attack - tear drop
33- sigur ros and mogwai - luvstory
34- scissor sisters - take your mama out
35- letters to cleo - i want you to want me (chick song)
36- kiss - rock and roll radio
37- the clash - should i stay or should i go
38- tracy chapman - give me a reason
39- the beatles - free as a bird
40- alanis morrisette - that i would be good (acoustic)

i know, you guys would be wondering where is all the boy bands which is supposed to be listed. according to him, they're a bunch of untalented muthafuckas which dont deserve any place on his playlist. he told me to return back that credit and not list him any boy band music in my top 40 list :)

phase of the day

"never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.." Jan